tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post2204821692909148105..comments2023-09-21T12:07:53.970-04:00Comments on Cubie's Confections: In MemoriamBev(QB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03571585694956752892noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-28322476491496874422007-11-21T22:56:00.000-05:002007-11-21T22:56:00.000-05:00Thanks everyone. he DID decide to have a small "Ce...Thanks everyone. he DID decide to have a small "Celebration of Life" for her on Monday morning. Unfortunately, none of us back here were able to get there for it. Two of the sisters and their husbands were able to get out there yesterday (Tuesday), but since it's Thanksgiving week, that was the best they could do, and even at that they had to change planes three times and had some lengthy layovers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-13784764609094516312007-11-16T10:24:00.000-05:002007-11-16T10:24:00.000-05:00Bev I'm so sorry for your loss. I think I remember...Bev I'm so sorry for your loss. I think I remember you mentioning them on the forum last year. <BR/>It's so sad and yet I can't help but think of how lucky they were to have eachother and be able to share their lives together for so many wonderful years. So many people may never find that one person that they will truly love until death parts them. I'm sure thats not much comfort to him right now, but at least he has so many years full of happy memories with her.<BR/>She sounds like she was a wonderful lady. Which makes it so much easier to understand her husbands reaction to everything. I'm sure it's hard for him to imagine spending the rest of his life without her now. And I even understand his anger. With her for leaving him, and probably himself for not being able to protect her from all this or take her place. I really hope he is able to pull himself back together and find some happiness again, even if its not with someone else. It sounds like he has alot of family to help him through this and more granchildren on the way. That is a joyous thing in and of itself. So many happy memories to share. In the end I think that is the best thing that any of us can leave behind.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04261212403423262786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-9605389604586708122007-11-13T18:05:00.000-05:002007-11-13T18:05:00.000-05:00Bev - Perhaps after he gets some time with this, y...Bev - Perhaps after he gets some time with this, you can all still have a small memorial service for her, even if he doesn't want a funeral.<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry for your loss. And I wish there was more I could do than just commiserate. If you need anything or need anything done, just holler.<BR/><BR/>gwenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-68883619806077717062007-11-13T14:39:00.000-05:002007-11-13T14:39:00.000-05:00Thanks to all of you, I appreciate your concern. W...Thanks to all of you, I appreciate your concern. <BR/><BR/>We found out that she's being cremated on Thursday and Carl is accompanying her to the crematorium to insure that he gets the correct ashes. <BR/><BR/>He is still as protective of her in death as he was in life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-45230536073368191652007-11-13T13:28:00.000-05:002007-11-13T13:28:00.000-05:00I'm sorry to hear this, Bev. Virginia sounds like ...I'm sorry to hear this, Bev. Virginia sounds like she was a wonderful lady. <BR/><BR/>Let me know if there's anything I can do.Ann Aguirrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09076423626210129278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-5663187431441905672007-11-12T20:13:00.000-05:002007-11-12T20:13:00.000-05:00Hon I wish I could say something to make it all be...Hon I wish I could say something to make it all better but I know I can't. Carl is luck to have you guys and I agree with MB, you are right to honor his request.<BR/><BR/>Your SIL sounds like a wonderful person and you were all lucky to have her and I am sure she was thankful for you. If you need anything you know where I am.sybilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342302708116383329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-89810189374737327012007-11-12T19:36:00.000-05:002007-11-12T19:36:00.000-05:00My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Bev....My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Bev. There's nothing harder than losing someone you love and care for. It leaves such a hole in our hearts.<BR/><BR/>Big hugsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-14816309388077712112007-11-12T19:29:00.000-05:002007-11-12T19:29:00.000-05:00QB- It's probably good to honor his request for no...QB- It's probably good to honor his request for now. If he shuts himself up for too long though, he might need some intervening. Every one is different. I know when I'm grieving over some loss, I want to be alone and when I'm ready, I come out. But some people just get lost in a deep depression if they don't reach out after a while and need people to take charge. It sounds like he has a great support system for when he's ready to come out.<BR/><BR/>And really there can be life after the loss of a life partner. My real grandfather died when my grandmother was in her mid 50's, they were married almost 43 years. And then she met my second grandfather and he was the second love of her life. <BR/>I know she never forgot my real grandfather, but she made room in her heart for love with another man who lost his life partner. So, one never knows.LVLM(Leah)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01344785501583933784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-79252261503319520922007-11-12T18:03:00.000-05:002007-11-12T18:03:00.000-05:00Thank you, MB. Right now, he is adamant that he do...Thank you, MB. Right now, he is adamant that he does not want the family heading out there. He does have his kids there, of course, and Virginia's sister just happened to be visiting. I know they were part of a cancer support group and they also have a large and caring network of friends nearby, in addition to all his brethren from the fire department.<BR/><BR/>In unspoken agreement, most of us haven't called him today. We've told the family members that HE'S called to pass on that we are here if he needs us, but know that he does not need the phone ringing constantly right now. We will call him in a day or two. We don't know if that's right or wrong, but we are trying to take our cues from him, and he has stated that he needs some time alone right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-735803662029765939.post-55947514788536398882007-11-12T17:16:00.000-05:002007-11-12T17:16:00.000-05:00Bev, as someone who has done a lot of hospice work...Bev, as someone who has done a lot of hospice work and as someone who watched my grandmother go through hell, crying and asking to die every day after my grandfather died, I can understand your worry over your BIL. She died a few weeks later, but she was 89.<BR/><BR/>Everyone deals with loss in their own way and unfortunately some just don’t deal in a good way, or need a lot more time to process their feelings. I know he is a man and men aren’t good about expressing or even understanding their feelings, but maybe when your SIL’s death is not so new and raw, he should get with some other men or women who have gone through this experience themselves.<BR/><BR/>Hospice has a great network of service and I don’t know about where he lives, but Hospice by me checks in with family members several times after a death to see how they are doing. They can offer some grief services.<BR/><BR/>He might even now start to feel guilt that he wasn’t there for her and that might compound his anger making him further retreat. The best all of you can do is to keep in contact with him and keep talking to him so he doesn’t retreat into a deep depression. <BR/><BR/>I’ve watched many people go through death and dealt with family members around that, and actually as painful as the whole thing is, and you never get over it totally, death of a loved one can be a really beautiful and deeply moving experience. <BR/><BR/>No matter how painful, the ones that are willing to be with their pain and be with their loved one through the end have a much easier time of moving on with life and appreciating that they used every last minute they had with their love in a good way.<BR/><BR/>I really hope that your BIL can come to a point that he doesn’t resent life for the fact that the love of his life was taken.LVLM(Leah)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01344785501583933784noreply@blogger.com