Saturday, November 10, 2007

More from the Jeff Files


Finished up end of month/beginning of month work crunch. So, since I haven't had time for much else, and it's been awhile since I've posted one of the endless supply of emails forwarded from my brother-in-law Jeff, I thought I'd show everyone what an equal opportunity offender he is!



What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

♥ ♥ ♥

What is a Yankee?
The same as a Quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
♥ ♥ ♥

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
♥ ♥ ♥

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts...
♥ ♥ ♥

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
♥ ♥ ♥

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
♥ ♥ ♥

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
♥ ♥ ♥

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
♥ ♥ ♥

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
♥ ♥ ♥

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'
♥ ♥ ♥

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Because he heard everyone there has the same DNA.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
♥ ♥ ♥

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
♥ ♥ ♥

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different Bar.
♥ ♥ ♥

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'.
♥ ♥ ♥

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.
♥ ♥ ♥

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
♥ ♥ ♥

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one is tall enough to go on the good rides
♥ ♥ ♥

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time '
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....
♥ ♥ ♥


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketHAH! Admit it! You laughed, didn't you?! Guess, you aren't as PC as you thought you were!

No comments: