Thursday, October 4, 2007

More from the Jeff Files

Since I'm in the middle of the end-of-month/beginning-of-month work crunch and have no time for much else, I thought I'd just pass on some more of my brother-in-law Jeff's infamous forwarded emails...

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There was a chicken and a horse playing together on a farm one day. The horse fell into a mud pit and yelled to the chicken to run to the house and get the farmer. The chicken ran to the house and the farmer was nowhere to be found. So, it got into the farmer's BMW and pulled the horse out with it.

The next day the chicken and the horse were playing on the farm again. This time the chicken fell into the mud pit and yelled to the horse to get help. So, the horse stood over the mud pit and told the chicken to grab on to his penis and he'd pull him out. The chicken grabbed on and, indeed, the horse pulled him right out.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

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The Three Stages of a Man's Life...




Any Questions?

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The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are ! 85 million in school

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work...

You and me.

And there you are,

sitting on your ass,

at your computer,

reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

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