Friday, July 25, 2008

In Case You Were Wondering...

... where I've been, I have been ORDERED to travel the world withdrawing my money using my new ATM SWIFT CARD while avoiding evil imposters who would keep me from it. PHEW! I sure am glad the FBI and the Federal Ministry of Finance were on top of this whole investigation!


From: Federal Bureau of Investigation [no-reply@fbi.gov]
re: Your Payment Notification

Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crimes Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington D.C
Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated by the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Imposters claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and imposter claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfill your Financial Obligation giving to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by arranging your payment in total of US $850,000.00 in an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw money in anywhere of the world. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in the ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, all you did have to do is to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free because it is our right to protect the American Citizens. All I did want you to do is proceed and contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $200.00 only and note that your Approval Slip contains details of your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (PIN which you will use in activating your ATM CARD in any ATM MACHINE.

CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: MR. PAUL SMITH
EMAIL: federal-ministryoffinance@webmail.co.za

Do contact Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your full name, home address, mobile telephone number, home telephone number or work telephone number and bank name so your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations to you which you will use in making payment of $200.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you open contact with the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTRE and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
FBI Director
Robert Mueller

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any imposter or office claiming to be in possesion of your ATM CARD, you are adviced only to be in contact with Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person you are suppose to deal with in regards your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any email you get from imposters to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

9 comments:

JenB said...

Oh, thank God they contacted you. You might have missed out!

Madame Butterfly said...

they have brought a solution to your problem by arranging your payment in total of US $850,000.00 in an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw money in anywhere of the world

Damn, I'm so jealous of you getting all that money for your problem. I wish I had an ATM card with that much money on it. How did you manage this QB?


and forward any email you get from imposters to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation

So umm...did you forward this letter back to him? *snort*

all you did have to do is to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free

The sad thing is that even though this guy cannot speak English, many English speaking people will fall for this.

JenB said...

I find it interesting that the Federal Ministry of Finance would use a South African email domain. Very stealthy.

Anonymous said...

the saddest thing? People actually fall for this stuff... all the time... Even people you would think were smarter than a turnip..
wytherin

Holly said...

OMG! So luuucky. Man, I only got 80% of $450 million. And it sure didn't come with no ATM card.

gina said...

But they promised to send ME the ATM card. What gives? And I already sent my $200.

Oh well. I'll just wait for my lottery winnings from Spain, and the transferred account from my distant relatives who died in a car accident in Africa. And the $5 million I'm supposed to give away to needy women and children from a dying South American woman.

Hope it comes soon. My savings are dwindling.

Bev(QB) said...

Now I will take time out of my world travels with my ATM card to read from you.

After all the times I won the U.K. National Lottery, I'm still amazed that I could be so lucky again!

Or maybe it was all those orders I placed to enhance my penis.

Hmmm... maybe MB should order some of those too. Of course, then she'd have to find a bigger bottle for her pet peen.

JenB said...

I never win international lotteries. I just get porn. :(

Madelynne Ellis said...

Hm, I never win the UK National Lottery and I'm in the UK and actually buy a ticket! Clearly, I just don't have QB excess of good luck!