Sunday, July 22, 2007

Skin on Skin Erotic Romance Anthology

Sunny, Jami Alden, Valerie Martinez - Skin on Skin anthology

Category: Coconut Truffles - SO not for me! (D,D-,F)
Flame Height: 6" out of 9"

The first story, Jami Alden's Tempted, is the most enjoyable of the three. It's a sweet but hot, predictable "best friends" story. Kudos to Jami for creating Lauren's mother. What a cringe worthy hoot she was! My sympathies to Jami too, for having her story stuck in this particular anthology. Maybe TPTB will reprint it somewhere more appropriate.

Valerie Martinez's Hot Wired is nasty, gritty, dirty, colorful and yet haunting. It would fit right in with any erotica anthology. But an Erotic ROMANCE anthology? Uh-uh. Not by any definition of Romance that I've ever used.

Sunny's China Doll is the main reason I bought this book. I wanted to see if, once Sunny climbed out of LKH and Anne Bishop's sandbox, she could play well on her own. Apparently not.

Oh, it started off fairly intriguing, and the male lead, Rand, remained fairly sympathetic, but the female lead, Anna, became downright laughable- and this isn't a comedy. She's one of the most poorly portrayed characters I've ever read. And the out-of-character ending, after all the ridiculous Anna angst we endure, made me want to throw the book in the toilet. But I didn't because, 1- it would clog the plumbing and I already wasted enough money just buying this book, and 2- because I wanted it beside me so that I could create an accurate hazardous material warning.

Anna: "I'm a 41 year old doctor. When I was 19, I was engaged to a pretty man who turned out to be a greedy, untrustworthy dawg . I've never been with anyone since and just want a one night stand tonight, so be patient and gentle with me because I intend to act as skittish as a brutal rape survivor. *boink boink* Good morn... ACK! You shaved your beard off and underneath you're a *gasp* PRETTY MAN!!! AAAAHHHHH! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! WHY, OH, WHY did he have to be a PRETTY MAN! Oh the cruelty, whatever shall I do! Never again will I want a pretty man and he's younger than me, too! Oh, hello again! *boink boink* After 22 years of being afraid of men and one night with you, I love you and, since you are also rich like me, let's get married tomorrow."

I'd say this character sucked donkey balls, but frankly, I don't think even the donkey would be interested. I need a new commentary category below Coconut Truffles. Maybe Black Licorice 'cause that stuff's just plain nasty. Plus it's available as whips.
Piquant Opines: RT, JERR- Jami Alden lists a 4 star JERR review on her website but I can not find a review for this book at JERR's site.

6 comments:

Ann Aguirre said...

Sunny's review... that's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

*Dying*

QB said...

And what's REALLY funny (and pitiful) is that I did not exaggerate one bit!

20 lashes with a black licorice whip!

Jade said...

LMAO Bev. I think I actually might like it better when you don't like a book! Don't get me wrong I love your reviews, but damn that was funny.

Ann Aguirre said...

I've never had a coconut truffle btw, but I completely concur on black licorice. EW!

Devon said...

I love black licorice. Still won't be reading Sunny's story, though.

QB said...

Well, if I have saved at least one person the agony of picking up this cow patty, then my sacrifice was worth it.

But, Devon, since you actually LIKE black licorice *shudders*, I just might have to send all books that are bad enough to land in that category over to you!